hearts&lies; ohsopanas.com

So today was awesome Despite the fact I have no more black nailpolish, my gavorite pair of jeans are in desperate need of drycleaning and I might have glass pieces stuck in my foot, it was a good day

School started boring as usual. Almost all our teachers didn’t come in today o.O But during Geography, for some reason. Toh asked us to bring potatoes. I’m like “O-kaaaay” So we brought our potatoes and none of us got our bukit thingy right. So we all ended up drawing potato people!!! I will only show you mine because it’s the best.

Braces are BEAUTIFUL, people!!!!!

Anyhowever, everything after that was boring. We had our second general interact meeting. Soooo many projects, so little time. Haih. Omg and some Butterflies started to write to us already!! When I say us, I don’t mean me. I mean Auretta, Melissa Lim and Josephine. Carrie, Ju Li and I were getting so obsessive everytime we saw a “postlady” we were like “GOT LETTER FOR US?!?!?!?!”

Okay, I know you don’t really care about my life in detail. =.=;; After Interact, I had Editorial but that was like at 4. So Nana, Hanisah, Amira, Hui Lyn and I went to Rajus to makan =D

How intellectual

Okay la. After a loooooooooooooooooooooooong and tiring day from school. I come back home. ya-da, ya-da, ya-da.

And guess what.

I SAW LIYANA TODAY =D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, first I rang on the doorbell. This small boy was playing the piano. And he came out in his underwear. I was like..O.O;;;; “Um is Liyana there?” Then Liyana came out and before I realized it was TWO YEARS SINCE I LAST SAW HER, I said “Dude. Why does your brother play the piano in his underwear?” Then we burst out laughing and we hugged each other.

We now are going to see each other every week.

I mean, I haven’t seen her in TWO YEARS. And I saw her today. I mean like, whoa. I don’t think you know how much I miss this chick la And for those who are wondering, yes she is still short. And she also sounds like a man now

Anyhowever, we walk back to my place. We pose and we pose and we pose pose pose!!!

Oh and yeah. Later the stupid girl like dropped my black nailpolished, ruined my floor and my jeans. =.= Stupid.

Bodoh kan?

Whatever. I still like so love her

But I constantly was like “Oh My God. I can’t believe I am seeing you!!! AFTER TWO YEARS”

We constantly hugged each other as well.

Damn she’s still so short la

AS YOU CAN SEE I AM TYPING IN ALLCAPS. NO MY KEYBOARD IS NOT SPOILED. IT’S CAUSE I AM PISSED OFF. I DON’T KNOW IF YOU NOTICED, BUT MY CBOX ALWAYS GET SPAMMED BY MY FRIEND LIYANA/MASSIVESECRETS. WELL, I HAVEN’T SEEN HER IN AGES. AND SHE GOES TO CEMPAKA NOW SO I THOUGHT, SHE LIVES NEAR THAT SCHOOL, THAT’S WHY SHE NEVER CAME TO ASSUNTA FOR SECONDARY SCHOOL. AND ON SUNDAY, I INVITED HER OVER. AND SHE WAS LIKE, WHERE DO YOU LIVE. AND I WAS LIKE GASING. AND SHE WAS LIKE OMG ME TOO, GASING INDAH! AND I WAS LIKE..

WHAT. THE. HELL

I MISS THIS GIRL SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH AND I FEEL LIKE SHE IS LIKE A MILLION MILES AWAY FROM ME AND SHE IS ACTUALLY LIKE 2 MINUTES AWAY FROM ME.

WHAT. THE. HELL

I AM SO PISSED OFF. LIYANA, I BETTER BE SEEING YOU THIS WEEK OR I WILL RIP YOUR EYEBALLS OUT OF ITS SOCKETS.

I MEAN, BACK IN PRIMARY SCHOOL I HAVE NEVER ACTUALLY BEEN TO HER HOUSE. BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT. WHY DID SHE HAVE TO GO TO CEMPAKA. I MEAN, HANIS WENT TO CEMPAKA. HE HATED IT. NOW HE’S IN BB. GETTING KICKED OUT ISN’T THE POINT. SHE WAS SO CLOSE YET I FELT SO FAR. LIYANA I MISS YOU MISS YOU MISS YOU. I WILL RIP YOUR EYEBALLS OUT OF ITS SOCKETS IF I DON’T SEE YOU THIS WEEK. I’M SERIOUS. I’M ONLY SAYING THIS CAUSE I LOVE YOU OK =.=

SO IF YOU BECOME BLIND, IT’S ALL IN THE NAME OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP BEBEH =.=

xoxoxo [ 6.41 PM ]

Weng Onn: Oh yeah! I read your blog just now. You want to BOOM La Salle??? What did La Salle ever do to you? You’re going to kill all those innocent people!

Innocent my ass.

xoxoxo [ 3.16 PM ]

My polka dot obsession.

(the picture above might take forever to load. but trust me, it’s sooo worth your patience)

All credits go to stepher for getting me into this crazy obsession Muahs.

I knew it would happen. But not so soon. I thought when it did happen, I could deal with it. But I can’t. When I try to feel, I can’t. It’s like there’s nothing beating in between my lungs anymore. And everytime I breathe, it hurts. It’s hard. Like there’s nothing beneath my chest anymore.

I also have been saying sorry a lot lately. Honestly, I say sorry to be polite. What I really want to do is rip your eyeballs off.

What hurts the most, people keep things away from me. Cause they think it’ll hurt me. It makes me feel like such an outcast. I don’t know if they know but most of those things were my decisions. So they shouldn’t hurt. Cause if it did hurt, I wouldn’t have done it in the first place.

Weng Onns PM: Everybody has their ghost. The ghost that haunts happiness.

Me: But everyone has an angel as well. An angel that protects us from our ghosts.

Sometimes I open my mouth when I shouldn’t. I’m sorry for that. No, this is a real sorry. Not a I-want-to-rip-your-eyeballs-off-sorry.

Anyways, school was boring as usual. I didn’t talk to Hanisah the whole day. I tried the whole put on a fake smile thing. It worked. Everyone thinks I’m happy now. What they don’t know is. From the moment I walked up to Mount Mutiara, my courage is crashing and I’m just keeping the tears in.

I also enrolled Sheau Woan and Shiva into Biss-camp.

Also, we ripped more hearts today.

Situation: Mom and I driving pass by La Salle Secondary.

Me: Mummy. I want to set an atom bomb in that school.

Mummy: Eh! Your brother goes there now la.

Me: Fine. I want to set an atom bomb during MORNING SESSION.

We had an all-airhead day yesterday.

Brindha, Hanisah and & I.

First my mom dropped Hanisah and I off at Brindhas house. I know we can walk laaaa..but damn lazy/leceh/tired laaa =.= Anyhowever, we chatted and chatted. Then we went to the poolside and chatted. Then it was almost going to rain, so they decided to come to my house. So while we were walking…I see Yew Wing and these two weird dudes running to God knows where. Haha, he is so cute la <3

At my house, we drank pink lemonade, we watched Sepet though we couldn’t really hear anything cause it was pouring outside x_X So while Brindha and Hanisah were watching the movie, I decided to play with Hanisahs very very short boy cut hair =D Ta-da!!!!

And below is The Airheads picture!!! Ta-da!! (For those of you who don’t know, losers, lol, The Airheads is a band. It consists of three Assuntarian girls. One tall. One short. One very short. I play the AirGuitar while the two of them play the AirPiano and AirDrums. Cool eh?)

=D And this is Hanisah & I looking ohsocute. Hehe. She’s my lala buddy. While everyone else is running to freaky zebra sales. We enjoy them polkadots =]

Anyhowever,

That was yesterday. Today is Monday.

I went to school. I came back. It was horrible. I knew something bad would happen today!!! First Hanisah is all pissed off. For what reason? I don’t know. Then something came up and I wasn’t feeling to good about it. And Brindha and Ju Li call me over-emotional? Riiiight. I got over that phase a looong time ago. Maybe I was wrong about the whole friends thing that I mentioned in my earlier post. Ish. But today honestly. They really piss me off la. Though Carrie was sweet la. Despite the fact her boyfriend is the spawn of the devil, Carrie is like a sweetheart

I don’t think I want to go into detail la. But if you really care, call or something

Let’s just say I didn’t talk to them the whole day ._. So I decided to talk to my much loved smart gang Though everyone there was pretty emo as well. You wanna know what Sheau Woan & I did?

We took Yi Rins AIA Insurance form. We drew the outline of a heart in black. We scribbled the insides with red ink pen. And above the heart, we wrote “Hello. I am Aarons Heart”. Then Sheau Woan ripped it apart x_x

I told Michelle that. All she said was “Does Aarons heart have insurance??”

Laugh out loud.

I came back home today and watched Hey Arnold. There was nothing else on tv. Then I watched powerpuff girls.

Man, I miss being 6 years old

Cause back then, it was always about sugar. spice. and everything nice.

Hope is the denial of reality.

Think about it.

From what I heard, reality isn’t the land of make believe. Nor is it a field of endless sunflowers. It’s a harsh and cold place. Like that feeling you get when you close your eyes and think of underground trains.

Some people hold on to something powerful to keep their spirits alive. Like, hope. But wouldn’t that just be a big fat lie? Something you just made up to get rid of your insecurities.

And maybe no one has ever thought of hope being a denial of reality. Maybe they have. But they decide to ignore the facts. Cause if they did understand the whole concept of painful reality, they would have nothing else to hold on too. And their existance wouldn’t matter anymore. I don’t think that’s living. Because, to live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that’s all.

Humans are soo weird. ♥

At one point, Brindha and I were sort of fighting with each other. But it was like, a silent war. Then on Friday, Brindha had a fall, at first we all thought it was nothing. Just normal pain. But later during science, Hanisah and I were so scared, we thought she was going to die, we thought we were going to loose our airhead.

I know I sound like an overemotional drama queen. But in that 5 minutes of rushing her downstairs, rushing up to carry her stuff and calling and making sure someone came to take her to the hospital, it was madness.

For the last two years, we gained and we lost friends. Now, the most important people in my life are my friends. I would say I haven’t grown up. But I am growing up. And I’m learning who my true friends are. Brindha, Hanisah, Dionne, Carrie, Ju Li and Michelle.

But at the same time. Haven’t you ever felt the same way about people? And the next minute, poof they’re gone.

My grandma is sick. I’m scared and I’m sad. But I won’t let myself show it. My mom was telling me in the car, the patient who was beside her was this Chinese man. And he died. And my mom was like, we fight for the smallest things, we fight for happiness, but no one knows when we’ll go, and the next minute, we’re gone. But the world will still move on. No one will stop and mourn for us. Except the people who loved us. But after the funeral, that’s it.

Hanisah called me earlier today. We talked for half an hour. We didn’t talk about boys, shopping or polka dots. We didn’t gossip. We talked about how we’re growing up. About everything that’s coming through our way. When we were 12, we felt like the whole world hated us, we felt as if THAT was our growing up. But we were wrong. The real obstacles haven’t even started yet.

Right now, we are all very insecure. I guess most of us don’t know what to do. Or where we fit in. Or who our real friends are. But for the moment, I know who are the people I can always cry on. I know who are the people I love. And more importantly, I know who are the people who love me.

Anyhowever, I shall cut the emo moment short.

Earlier today, I had to deal with the evil dentist. My braces are pink now by the way And after that, horrible tution. Thank God Brindha and I decided to skip English and go back home. And after that, I went to Megamall with Carrie, Juli and Emica

We watched this freaky movie, The Return. It isn’t really scary la. But we’re stupid girls who like to scream.

Emica and I ended up going phone-cover hunting. As you know, I am ohsoinlove with the 60s. If I had my way, I would go back in time, to the 60s, do soooooooooooooo much of shopping, and come back to the 21st century bringing the 60s back to life

I bought a red and white polka dotted and a greenish blue stripey phone cover =D

I love Emica <3

Hahahaha,

Anyhowever, I need to go sleep and wake up at 7am for more tution tomorrow. Then Brindha, Hanisah and I are going to have some airhead time tomorrow.

Night night.

P.S// “She said, I was missing in her life. Like her life was a puzzle. And I was the missing piece”

Before I go on with my burning post, I would like to inform my readers that…

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

I GOT A NEW PHONE!!!!!!

=D

Nokia 7373, La Amore, or whatever. I got the black and orange one.

It is so beautiful.

I want to MARRY it.

I will name it Sasha, after my long lost friend Sasha. Her twin brother, Jeff would most probably be very pissed off with me for not naming the phone Jeff. So I will name the 2.0 megapixel camera, Jeff.

I love technology =D

So Yesterday…

I go to Naomis house and as usual, the first thing I do is give dirty looks at her dogs. I don’t really like her dogs. Don’t get me wrong, I love dogs. Just not hers. Then I walk in the house and then Naomi says “There’s a CAT in the bathroom!!!” and I’m like Oh My God really? So I go into the bathroom and guess what?

No cat.

But.

Got kitten!!!!

It was like so cute. Kyle says it’s “lovely” So Aww right? He saved it from school!! This is why I love Kyle so so much. Anyways, I would say most of the photos I take are quite impressive. I took lovely pictures of the kitten (Kyle name her Princess, aww) and Naomi & Kyle & the kitten. But guess what? Neither of them can take a decent picture of ME. Pfft. So I will just post the picture of Princess.

Then later…Naomi and I decided to do our weekly stupid thing. So she made me write a name of all the people who broke her heart (and some of mine) on a piece of artblock. Oh you think it’s easy? Try writing it in Hindi.

So we are walking and looking for a more legal* burning spot. Then I see Fidas dad!!! Fida, Melissa, Denise and I were all in Taekwondo while we were in Primary school. Now Fida is in some boarding school in Johor while Melissa, Denise and I are here. I recognize her dad cause he always took us for our tournaments and whatnot. So we chatted for a while and then guess who we see?

Daniel!!

The one Naomi is like in love with it

She says, we are each others good luck charms. He he he.

He ended up looking for a burnspot with us and helped us burn the thing and he was like “I wonder if my ex girlfriends burn my name as well o.O” We burst out laughing.

Anyways…the video is sort of stupid la, so here’s just a screenshot. And I’m not going to post the actual picture of “The Heartbreak List” because knowing MOST OF YA’LL. You will get a translator to translate all of it. Well, tough luck either way. My Hindi is so bad even a translator wouldn’t understand it!!!

(That’s Daniels hand btw. Naomi & I couldn’t risk our fingers getting burnt. He has ugly-boy-fingers, so it’s okayh. Shh)

After that he went back home and Naomi and I went back to her place and watched some freakyshit scary ghost movie o.o Stupid Kyle. He “insisted” we watched it.

Me: Kyle…I’m scared

Kyle: …

Me: Kyle What’s happening now???

Kyle: …

Me: Kyle.

Kyle: …

Me: I love you?

Kyle: I love you too.

*I smile* *Naomi gives me a dirty look that says DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT/I WILL KILL YOU SICK BISS* he he he

Then we posed, of course

Why we took the stupid feet picture? I don’t know. Maybe cause we have model-material-feet and we want you to be jealous of our feet. Yeah I can imagine Carrie choking and laughing while reading this.

he he he

Have you ever wondered why pink doesn’t belong with the rainbow?

xoxoxo [ 2.27 PM ]

If you think that I’m getting stressed out and practically dying in secondary school which is the main reason why I hardly seem to blog these days.

Well, you’re right.

But I guess I’m starting to understand the whole time-management concept la. No worries there.

Hmm. So as usual, school was bo-ring. If it weren’t for the fact we have PMR this year, I swear I’d like quit school or something. Haih. Don’t we all just want to quit school?

That or let me take over the world. If I took over the world…

THERE WON’T BE SCHOOL!!!

Every day would be a holiday!!!

Chocolates would be distributed for FREE!!!!!!!

Pools shall be filled with melted chocolate!!!!!!!!

The Ice Cream man song shall be our national/international anthem.

All fat ugly dicipline teachers shall be sent off to different planets.

Now, don’t you just want me to rule this planet bebeh?

P.S// I saw Weng Onn today. Well. He’s sister was blocking his face. I saw his bigbig spiky rambut!

P.P.S// I also saw Aaron today. He gave me one of those stupid-cute grins.

P.P.P.S// I don’t see Chun Wei anymore. I think he died.

P.P.P.P.S// Remember how I was the kononnya manager for the lalaz-in-denial? Weirrd.

xoxoxo [ somewhere around 6 am in the morning… ]

Three Reasons Why My Friends & I Are Cooler Than Yours.

Reason Number One;

We support!

Reason Number Two;

We look so hot. Even in black and white.

Reason Number Three;

We look great on blog layouts.

So duhh.

Since it’s a Saturday, most of ya’ll would be like…sleeping at 6am and waking up at 5pm or something Damn you I am so jealous, eesh. I had to wake up at 5.45am in the morning to get ready and go to Melissas house so her mom could drop us of at ISKL, Ampang.

I went for the extempt workshop and there was only a few Assuntarian girls and like, two VI guys o.O That also Melissa Choons brother, the ohsobeautiful Alex. The rest were boring (bodohbetul) but my ohsofavorite workshop was the ohsowonderful debate workshop! =D

Last year when I went for the debate workshop I was like…

“HUH?? WHATS A VALUE CRITERIA???”

“…what’s ethics o.O”

“What the hell is contention????”

And so on.

But this year…

I swear I rocked

If you don’t believe me, ask Mark Webber.

He’s one of my idols.

<3>So he asked some stuffs, and I gave him my theory on Values. And I was sort of nervous wether I was going on the right direction or not and he was all like “No, no! That’s exactly how it is. You’re right!! Go on, go on” and I was like smiling and continued la.

Then later on, he asked another question and everyone was like *silent* and I explained la. And then I stopped a little bit and he said “Girl, what’s your name?” and I said “Shivani…” and he was like “Everyone! Focus on what Shivani is saying, I see where she’s going and she’s right” So again, I started with my smiling and continued.

He so loves me la.

Then after the workshop I went up to him to ask him a few stuffs la, then he was like “What school do you go to?” I was terrified to answer Assunta. He sorta hates Assuntarian girls from what I heard la o.O They refer to us as “the skimpy clad girls”.

Ouch.

I said Assunta and he looked surprised and he said “You’re going to be a GREAT debater, trust me”

I trust you- I trust you!!!

No one has that much of faith in me la. Other than Miss Boey and Miss Tan. Even my parents aren’t so supportive on my debating. Sure they allow me to do this and do that, but it’s always ME telling them what happened and so on, they never ask.

Haih

Anyways, I’m not going to screw up my mood. I’m just so happy =D

And while buying my sandwhich, Matthew was paying for his ramen noodles and I smiled and said “Hey!” and he smiled and said “Hi!”

About a year ago, I wanted to rip this guys eyeballs off. And now I love his blog and I love his brains and I love his skills. Matthew if you read this, I expect you to say “aww” then buy me jellybeans during the tournament

Anyways- I didn’t pose cause it was a workshop not a carnival and um, my battery died x_x So yeah la. Sorry if I get boring la. Debate, school, FAMILY, friends, everything la. Stressing me out.

I now know what Ramitra meant when she said being a senior can get horrible at times x_x

So I am officially a caterpillar

And I am looking forward writing letters to my butterfly.

In other words, we had an Interact/Probationers meeting today, so technically we are all probationers now and we need to get at least 10 projects to officially be an Interactor. I really really want to get in and then join the Peace Debate =D

This year is definitely going to be the best.

Cause I mean like, next year we are most prolly going to be wayy to busy comitting suicide because of Biology and Physics and whatever-not. And stressing ourselves with that horrible add-math and history and whatever-not.

So yeah, I better make the best out of this year

And of course, get my 7a’s so I can get into Science 1/2

Anyyywayyss…

Since Interact is all about having campaigns and helping others.

I decided to start a campaign of my own. I think most of ya’ll would agree with it, haha.

For now, it’s just an idea. Let me know what you think about it aite? But sooner or later (once I learn how to create blogrings) it shall be a blogring and I’ll make links so you can like put it on your site =D

So if you have a dorky friend who wears braces..

don’t make fun of her/him!!!

Braces are beautiful!!!